It's been a PSYCHO-BATTLE week! That's what I call it, anyway - a constant stream of wars going on in my head, and unfortunately my head has not been preoccupied with worries about which yogurt to choose or whether or not to eat a banana. God, I wish it was that simple.
800g UP this morning. 'Pissed off' is the politest way I can think of to express how I felt, but note that I've used that verb in the past tense - 'felt' rather than 'feel'. I'm still fighting. I haven't thrown in the towel - and I'm actually very proud of myself for that. I spent a couple of hours sifting through all the excuses I can think of for my weight gain. Yes - Saturday was tricky - but I was kickboxing all day on a course, so I figured the poor nutrition would be somewhat offset by being on my feet and moving for eight hours straight. Sunday was troublesome. I blew it at my brother's house and ate for 3 (possibly even 4). And yes, there was wine involved, too. But overeating on occasion is going to happen (I'm not going to pretend it's not) ... and I was right back on track Monday and Tuesday so although I expected not to lose, I thought 800g was rather on the steep side!!
However, it's done, it's logged and I am accountable - for whatever reason. I have another few thoughts ... that perhaps it wasn't all to do with one nutritional blow-out. This week has been super super stressful - and I'm talking serious stress! I'm sitting here wondering how the hell I'm going to feed my kids for the next 6 days and it's no fun - the kind of challenge I can do without! Stress, I know, releases cortisol, which inhibits fat loss - and that could definitely be working against me right now. And a couple of hours ago, I think I had confirmation of TOTEFMOS (that's menopause-speak for Time Of The Every Few Months Or So) - which would also explain water retention and bloating.
So ..... guess what! I'm over it! Losers complain, winners train, right? I'm going to stand by that. It's my new motto for this week. I'm already proud of myself for not sobbing into a chocolate doughnut after weigh-in this morning. Instead, I had a squeaky clean breakfast and I've had a squeaky clean lunch - and in between those two I trained a client and then did the running workout outdoors to de-stress - 30 minute jog followed by 20 minutes of intervals 30 sec sprint, 30 sec recover. I actually LAUGHED on my way back to the car .... because for once the only whinge I had was with my hamstrings and not my knees!! Boy, that felt good!!
And you know what else felt good? All the support I've been getting from the 12wbt forums at www.12wbt.com AND from the wonderful people in the two 12wbt Facebook groups I belong to AND the 12wbt ladies and gents on www.myfitnesspal.com. Thank you so SO much! You are truly amazing!
What's coming next? Squeaky-clean eating and lots of calorie-burning. And I think there'll be quite a lot of writing going on this week - it helps me sort my head out. And plenty of running .... which is how I de-stress.
Thanks for listening! Ever onwards ...
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